He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
