hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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