You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize