I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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