How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
