cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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