my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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