It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
