I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize