they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
