May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
