Jerry, you need to find god
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
