I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
