Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
