google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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