Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
