pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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