she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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