So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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