i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
you will always have a special place in my vag
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
