I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
