You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
