it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
