i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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