More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
