Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
