My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
