It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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