Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
