Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
