It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
