He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
