? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize