She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
