We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
