bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
