Three words: puerto rican gang bang
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
