So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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