the day after is always just damage control
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
