You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
