BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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