dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
