don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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