I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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