Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
