i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
