yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
FUCK WHALES
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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