96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
