Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
