but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
