I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
