Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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