If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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