You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Semen is not good for contacts.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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