Pants 0. Shit 1.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
