I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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