The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I think people are normalizing furries
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
