Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
