Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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