does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
