There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize