I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
