bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
