i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
