he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
