Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
