you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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