just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
