i think my tv is drunk
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
two words: eviction party
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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