I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
