Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
