everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
