I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
