Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
