i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
