question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
