he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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