Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
