oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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