I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
