Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
