Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize