if you like me you must not know who I am
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
COCAINE IS GR8
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize