I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
