butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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