Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Text me some of your sweat
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
